Church of Our Redeemer

Live Like You Were Dying – “Give Forgiveness”

A sermon preached by the Rev. John Thomas Sheehan
March 2, 2008

When you came in today, you were given a small rock. We are going to let those rocks symbolize our own struggle with forgiveness.

This is the 4th in our sermon series called “Live Like You Were Dying.” We have been staring in the face the reality that we will not be here forever. Our days are numbered. Here is the question we have been wrestling with during this series, “If I only had 30 days to live, how would I spend my time?” How would I change? What would I start doing that I haven’t been doing? This challenging adventure is changing our perspective.

So far, we have looked at what it means to live for that which matters most. We have looked at Embracing each Day, Loving more deeply and Speaking more sweetly.

Today’s sermon deals with what may be the most difficult subject we’ve looked at.

For some, this will be a defining moment in your spiritual journey. Others will walk out of here today freer than they have been in years. Some are going to leave a burden here that you have been carrying for a long, long time. Today we are going to talk about forgiveness.

You’ve heard that “time heals all wounds.” But, it just isn’t true. For some, even though it has been years, the wounds are still raw, fresh, and real. Isn’t it amazing how God has wired us? Life’s greatest joys and life’s most agonizing wounds both come from the same place. They come from relationships. God has made us with the capacity to love deeply, but he has also made us with the capacity to hurt deeply.

So, if you only had 30 days to live, are there relationships that need to be repaired and restored? Is there some bitterness that needs to be resolved? Do you have some unfinished business you need to take care of before you check out of this life?

Each of you was given a rock today because this struggle with forgiveness is a challenge for all of us. Somewhere along the way, we all have been hurt, wounded, betrayed, or abandoned. The truth is, we all know what it is to carry around a rock of un-forgiveness. I’m sure you will be surprised, but, none of us are perfect. And, that’s OK. We are a collection of broken people who have been redeemed and restored by God’s grace.

God is not surprised or shocked by the fact that you are carrying a rock today. In fact, he wants to help lighten your load. But, you can’t pretend the rock isn’t there or try to hide it any longer.

Think about going to the airport. You check in at the counter, get your boarding pass and then you head off to the security line. You know the drill. Show your boarding pass, show your ID, pull out your laptop, take the change out of your pocket, take off your shoes, your belt, take off your watch – put your carry-on bag the belt. As your bag passes through the X-ray, there is a TSA agent watching. It’s their job to discover it, identify it, and then remove it. They do this to protect you and the rest of us.

In the same way, the Lord X-rays our stuff to protect us from ourselves. Sometimes, he looks inside and he says “That rock of unforgiveness, is dangerous. It will hurt you.”

Like the TSA agent, the Lord is on your side. Unlike the TSA agent – the Lord knows you, He loves you, and he only wants the best for you.

So, here is what I’m asking today. I want us to really be honest with ourselves and with God. I want you to open up and I want you to let the Lord, show you anything that might be hurtful or dangerous.

As we look at forgiveness, I want to establish the baseline of God’s expectation. As followers of Jesus, we are given a high standard when it comes to relationships. Paul writes to the Church on Rome: “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)

Live in peace with everyone. There isn’t much wiggle room. There is no disclaimer, no exception, no loophole, and no escape hatch. I am to do everything possible to live in peace with everyone.

One day Peter, asked Jesus about forgiveness. He wanted to know where the boundary was. So, he point blank asks Jesus, “How many times shall I forgive my brother? Up to seven times?” Peter thinks he is being super-spiritual and going way beyond the call of duty by suggesting seven times.

Jesus’ response is shocking. He says, “Not seven times, but seventy times seven.” Then Jesus tell a about forgiveness. Let me try to bring the story into the 21st century.

It is the story of a multi-billion dollar corporation. One day the CEO, gets a memo from the accounting department. One of their vendors has run up an enormous debt. The CEO wants to know why this wasn’t discovered earlier. Being the no nonsense businessman, he wants a meeting with this vendor immediately.

When this vendor gets word that, about the meeting, his heart sinks. He panics. What is he going to do? He knows that he can’t pay the bill. He owes more than 10 million dollars. The only thing he can do is plead for mercy. But CEO’s don’t get where they are by showing mercy.

When he gets to the corporate headquarters, he is taken to the CEO’s office – where he is presented with a detailed accounting of his debt. The CEO lets him know that this obligation is due in full. It’s due Today.

The CEO tells him, that they plan exercise the full force of the law. They will seize all of his assets, liquidate his property and possessions. They will do whatever is necessary to recover this debt. And, after that they do all they can to see him in prison.

In desperation, this man falls on his knees – begging for mercy, begging for more time. He promises to pay back every dime. And, then, the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the unbelievable happens. The CEO is moved with compassion. And in a moment of unbelievable compassion, he shreds the file canceling the debt. He doesn’t give him more time, he pardons him.

But the story isn’t over. On his way home he stops for gas where he bumps into a client who has been avoiding him because he owes a few hundred dollars that he hasn’t paid. His sense of relief and freedom vanishes and is immediately replaced by resentment and anger. He demands payment immediately. The client, begs for more time and promises that he will pay back every dime. Sound familiar? But, this guy will hear none of it. He presses charges and has the client thrown in jail.

How ungrateful can you be? How could a man who had been forgiven so much – not forgive someone so little? That’s the point.

From this powerful story, I want to challenge you with two choices and a word of caution.

You’ve been released from God’s judgment – celebrate.

One of my fears is that we have lost the sense of this forgiveness.

We tend to subscribe to the philosophy out lined in the book – “I’m OK, You’re OK.” We’re not! I’m thinking about writing a book – “I’m not ok, and you’re really messed up.”

The Bible doesn’t pull any punches as it discusses the nature of man. In the Old Testament, we read that the heart is desperately wicked. Paul write in Romans: "No one is good – not even one. (Romans 3:10)

In Ephesians we read, “we were by nature objects of wrath” – we didn’t come into the world innocent – we arrived with a hearts tainted and poisoned by sin. (Ephesians 2:4)

A group of five, Buddhist monks from Japan visited one of the larger evangelical churches in USA. One of them said, “The most difficult thing for me to accept about Christian belief is the belief in a sin nature. I just don’t get it.”

For me this is easy to believe – because the evidence is all around us. Just look at every two year-old you know. You don’t have to teach them to be selfish, to lie, to fight, or to throw a fit when they don’t get their way. No, they come into the world with a sin nature.

Paul describes our condition in his letter to the Colossians: “At one time you were far away from God and were his enemies because of the evil things you did and thought.” (Colossians 1:21)

Did you hear that? We were the enemies of God. Like the man in the story, we have an enormous debt that we can never pay. We are hopeless and helpless. Our debt was so large – that the only solution was for God to send His only son – Jesus Christ – to come and die on the cross – to pay our debt.

The Lord our God showed mercy and compassion – when we had no hope of every paying off our debt – He shredded our file. Changing metaphors – Jesus death was God stamping our note “paid in full.” I deserved punishment. I got pardoned. I deserved judgment. I got Jesus. I deserved eternal condemnation. I got eternal salvation. I deserved hell. I got heaven.

Before we go any further, I want to make sure that you have received the gift of God’s forgiveness and know what it is to be pardoned of the enormous debt of your sin.

If you only had thirty days to live, nothing would be more important than getting this settled. Where you spend eternity is at stake. Jesus has already paid the price and God offers salvation to you as a gift. It is yours to simply receive. Right now, by faith, you can receive the gift of eternal life. Once and for all, you can have your debt forgiven. So, don’t wait.

There is a direct connection between our sense of being forgiven and our ability to forgive. In other words, when we feel forgiven, we are am more forgiving. God’s forgiveness of our enormous debt is the starting place in our discussion about forgiving others.

Paul writes these words to the Ephesians: “Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:30-32)

So, the starting place is to choose to celebrate how much we have been forgiven.

Then, we are to:

Release others from our judgment – liberate

That statement is not meant to minimize anything that you might have been through or how much someone might have hurt you. Rather, compared to what we have been forgiven by God, every other debt is small. This I know. We can never forgive someone more than what God has forgiven us.

Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” We are never more like God and we are never more glorious than when we forgive.
But, forgiving is not easy – it doesn’t come natural. We want justice. We want people to get what they deserve. Sir Walter Scott said that revenge “is the sweetest morsel to the mouth that was ever cooked in hell.”

Letting people off the hook isn’t easy. But, God calls us to forgive. I want to make this perfectly clear. Forgiveness is a choice. Every time you are offended or hurt, you have a choice to make. Will you choose resentment and bitterness or will you choose forgiveness?

We even use the phrase “nurse a grudge”. When you nurse something, you do all you can to keep it alive. So we feed our grudges with angry thoughts and hostile feelings. Then we justify our right to hold the grudge. After all, look what they did to us.

How many of you know what TIVO is? It is a device that allows you to record your favorite programs – then you can watch them whenever you want. There are folks who’ve TIVO’d their hurts. So, they can play them back time after time.

It reminds me of the guy who told his friend that his “wife was so upset she went historical.” His friend said “Don’t you mean hysterical?” “No, I mean historical – she brought up everything I had ever done wrong.” We have an amazing ability to hang on to our hurts.

Some of us have grudges that we’ve been nursing for a long time. But, we do have a choice – we can let go or we hang on to them.

What are some clues that you may need to choose to forgive?

You feel resentment toward somebody. In fact, their name may have just come to mind.
When their name comes up, you are instantly critical. You can’t stop thinking about the hurt. You keep pushing replay and rehearsing a hurtful incident.

Your homework assignment – if you choose to accept it. Go to your spouse or a good friend and ask them, "Who do I need to forgive?"

So, what does it mean to forgive? Does it mean to forget? NO. You can’t do some kind of mental gymnastics and erase the hurt from your memory bank.

It doesn’t mean minimizing the hurt or justifying the other person’s actions. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you pretend the hurt didn’t happen.

Forgiveness is relinquishing my right to hurt you for hurting me. It’s releasing you from my judgment and releasing you to God’s justice. It is making the choice to let the person off the hook, to not charge the offense to their account. It’s letting go of my RIGHT to get even. Letting it go is an act of the will, it’s not a warm feeling! Letting go means releasing the offender from any obligation! It’s releasing yourself from re-living the hurts.

Paul tells us to: “Make allowance for each other's faults, forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (Colossians 3:13)

Some of you are thinking, “No way. You don’t know what they’ve done – You don’t know the destruction they caused.” In this moment, everything in your spirit recoils at the thought of “giving them a free pass” or releasing them from your judgment.

You have a choice. You can carry it to your grave – or you can let it go. Life is too short. It’s poisoning your soul. Step back and choose to let it go. For some this feels like the hardest thing you’ve ever been asked to do. And in fact it may be – but, I’m asking you to take the risk – trust the Lord and let it go.

As if that isn’t hard enough, I want to challenge you to bless those who have hurt you. Listen to what Jesus says: “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:27-28)

A few verses later in verses 35-36, Jesus says, “Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:35-36)

There’s a passage near the end of the book of Job. You know the story. Satan bets God, that Job will turn away and hate God if Job life gets hard. Satan is allowed to take everything from Job but his life. He lost his wealth; his servants, his health, and all of his children were killed. Job is devastated and he is left trying to figure out what God is up to. At times, he is angry, confused, and depressed. At times, he struggles with his faith. Most of the book records of Job’s conversations with three “friends.” These friends tell Job “the reason you are suffering is because of some sin in your life.”

Finally, after 38 chapters of silence God speaks. One of the things God does is rebuke Job’s friends. They had it all wrong. All of this came on Job not because of sin but rather because he was the most righteous man on earth. Between Job and these men, there has been no love lost. Their words have penetrated and stung.

This is where it gets interesting. God tells Job to pray for his friends. God is using this as a way to rebuild their relationship.

In Job 42:10 it says, “The Lord restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.” This doesn’t mean that if you pray for your enemies that you will win the lottery. But, there is a valid principle here. When we are forgiving and pray for those who have hurt us, we will be blessed.

So, how about it? Will you choose to celebrate how much you have been forgiven? Will you choose to liberate those who have hurt you?

Before we wrap this up, I want to leave you with a word of warning that also comes from our story. If you don’t forgive, you…

Release yourself to torture – Devastate

Listen to these harsh words. “Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the king sent the man to prison until he had paid every penny.” (Matthew 18:32-34)

Jesus concludes the story in verse 35 with these words: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matthew 18:35)

These are some of the most troubling words in the Bible. There are a lot of people who don’t take Jesus’ words seriously.

Harboring bitterness and embracing resentment is like taking poison into your body. It always hurts you more than the person you are bitter towards. Your resentment will not change the past and will not solve the problems of today. It will rob you of joy and allows the other person to continue to control you. Unforgiveness eats you up on the inside. We all know people who are tortured by their unforgiving spirit.

Bitterness will cause your heart to shrivel and grow hard. It can make you negative and critical. And, it can become all-consuming. That’s why the writer of Hebrews gives us this challenge. “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15)

Someone has to break the cycle. Someone has to have the courage to say enough is enough. Stop the insanity and destruction. All we will gain is bitterness toward each other.

It’s time for some of you to speak up and to say “enough.” It’s time to say the words “I forgive you.” “I release you from my judgment.” It’s time to put down the rock.

When you come up for communion, you will have the opportunity to “put down the rock”. You can put it in the basket. Now is the time to “let it go”.

In light of how much we’ve been forgiven, how can we do anything else?